Mistakes to Avoid When Combining Finances with Your Partner

Merging finances and creating joint bank accounts seems like the right thing to do as a couple, especially when you get married, right? Well, after surveying over 1,000 Americans this study discovered that 20% of people regret combining their finances with their partner. Even worse, these same couples tend to argue about money once a week! 

“21% of people cited money as the cause of their divorce” – MagnifyMoney

Does this mean you shouldn’t merge finances with your partner or spouse? Certainly not. Joint accounts still provide a lot of benefits like easier expense tracking, covering shared expenses, and much more. But, if you want to avoid the catastrophic damage that many other couples make, you’ll need to avoid these mistakes when combining finances with your partner.

Combining Finances Too Early

The right time to combine your finances with your partner isn’t so reliant on your physical age but rather the length of your relationship and more specifically, the strength of it. That’s why some couples can combine finances at the age of 22 and have no issues compared to a couple in their late 40’s. 

Not to mention, everyone is in a different stage of their life. Someone in their early 20’s could already be two years into a really stable job and have an emergency fund saved while another could still be in college, taking classes, and dealing with massive student loan debt. 

So, when do most couples merge finances?

• 69% of married couples
• 16% of engaged couples
• 13% of unmarried couples living together

Typically, you have two options when combining finances with your partner. 

1. Combining everything and pooling all of your money into one account
2. Have a joint account for shared expenses and a separate account for personal spending

Both of these options can work but by far the easier option would be the second. If you do a great job budgeting each month, it’ll be incredibly easy for you and your partner to determine how much money needs to be transferred to the shared account each month. Most banks will even help automate this process for you.

The one hiccup you might encounter is when one makes significantly more money than the other. If this is the case it might not seem fair to split expenses 50/50 since one has much more buying power than the other. 

This brings up the next point. You need some kind of written agreement before any funds are transferred. There’s often no need to get a lawyer involved but you’ll want to put together an agreement that satisfies both parties. This can save you from a lot of hardship and arguments down the line. 

Not Having a Long-Term Plan

Have you ever asked your spouse what their savings goals are? If not, you probably should before walking into the bank together. By not agreeing to long-term saving and spending goals, you’re setting yourself up for failure. 

This plan should include but is not limited to retirement planning, dividend investing, homeownership, and starting a family, if interested. 

Sit down with one another and discuss these goals, their timelines, and anything else you intended to save for in the future. 

Even short-term savings like monthly goals need to be established. During these conversations, you might discover that you prioritize hitting a savings goal each month while your partner prefers to spend their hard-earned money going out on the weekends. 

The trick is to find some middle ground you both can agree to. The saver in you might find solace knowing you’re saving a predetermined amount of money each month, while your spouse is delighted to hear there’s still money left in the budget for two big vacations a year. 

“A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece.” – Ludwig Erhard

Keeping Secrets or Lying

Keeping secrets in a relationship can put you on the fast track to destruction. I’m kidding… well kind of. The same goes for money management. Secretly spending money or lying about your current financial situation is a recipe for disaster and should be avoided at all costs. 

As you can imagine it takes a lot of trust to offer someone else practically free access to your money. One slip up can lose you this trust forever. 

Common secrets to withhold from your spouse might include gambling addictions, massive debt, or even something as simple as impulsive shopping sprees using a credit card. You can and will cause irreparable damage by trying to conceal these secrets from your partner. Instead, tackle these issues together and discuss them with honesty and humility. 

Your partner might be a bit more understanding if you address these issues earlier in the relationship, making them more susceptible to offering you assistance in relinquishing these issues once and for all. Remember, you are a couple, after all. 

Ignoring Debt

A recent study showed that 80% of Americans are caught up in the chains of debt. That’s quite a large number. From school loans to credit cards most people tie the knot with some kind of financial burden. 

If one partner has more debt than the other, talks about income, spending, and debt paydown can get quite heated. 

People in such situations may find comfort in knowing that debts brought into a marriage stay with the person who incurred them and aren’t extended to a spouse. Thankfully their debt won’t affect your credit score either. Now this by no means should encourage you to ignore the other’s debt. 

• Your partner’s debt will significantly reduce the amount of disposable income they have, in turn meaning you both have to live off of less money
• There’s often a root cause of all this debt and marrying them won’t solve the problem. It often just means you’ll now be building debt together instead of separately. 
• Massive debt can leave quite a toll on someone’s mental health. Eliminating this debt can foster a healthier and happier state of mind. Which in turn can result in a better relationship. 

Don’t think that just because it’s not your debt that it won’t affect you because it surely will. Construct a game plan to help reduce and eventually eliminate any consumer debt either of you have. This is a much more effective strategy than ignoring the elephant in the room. 

Conclusion

Combining finances with your partner can strengthen the bond and make finances a lot easier to manage. However, a lot of work upfront needs to be done in order to lay a strong foundation. Being open about your finances and planning ahead to the future are the two biggest factors when it comes to successfully merging your money. Failure to avoid the mistakes listed here can quickly result in a divorce and financial turmoil. 

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