This article originally appeared on Radical FIRE and has been republished here with permission.
When youโre planning on moving in with your partner, there are important money conversations you need to have before moving in with your partner.
Iโm planning to move in with my partner after we complete our four-month mini-retirement, where we travel to Central America together. I assume that after weโve spent so much time together abroad, we should be fine with moving in together. Just one thing that should be discussed is our finances.

Moving in with someone requires some financial logistics to be arranged. You need to discuss who is paying which bills, who is responsible for what, and more.
You know I love having money conversations, with my friends or with my family. I love to talk about money, thatโs why I write on the blog. When no one wants to hear me talk about money for the gazillionth time, Iโm just writing a blog post about my money thoughts.
Now onto the money conversations that you need to have before moving in with your partner. Iโve had all these conversations over the past weekend just to know weโre on the same page. I recommend you also have them when youโre planning to move in with your partner!
Money Conversation #1: Do We Share Our Stuff?
I mean, is everything that was once mine now ours? Is everything that was once yours now ours? Itโs about the tangible things that are in the house, not including money. This is something to think about before moving in together.
If you have things that your partner also has, should you bring it? Or can you use one and get rid of the other one? If there are things that you donโt have yet but you know you need? Will you buy it together or will one of you buy it?
In relation to that, we get to the next point.
Money Conversation #2: What Will We Do If โฆ ?
You donโt go living together with your partner unless things are serious between you. You need to consider the possibility of the relationship ending sometime very far in the future (OMG!). Breakups and divorces are a possibility that needs to be considered.
If youโre sharing things, what will happen after you stop being together? This is important for things like furniture and electronics, following the previous point. Will you share everything together, yes or no?
Related read: 10 Ways Divorce can Affect your Credit
Money Conversation #3: Is The Money Going to Be Ours, Too?
Itโs important to think about if youโre going to join finances or not. Itโs a very personal thing to think about and it will differ for everyone depending on their situation. If your partner makes a lot less, you can decide to pay more towards the fixed monthly payments. Or vice versa.
Just keep in mind that you should do something that makes you comfortable!
For me and my partner, we will not join finances. Weโre having separate financial goals at the moment. Iโm working towards my goal of financial independence and keeping a savings rate of over 80% consistently until we go on our travels. Meaning weโre not on the same page concerning money goals.
Thatโs okay for now. He will look for a job after we return and we will decide how we will go from there.
For our expenses, we will be splitting everything equally. I currently make more than my partner. The rent will be low enough for him to comfortably be covering half. If in any given month he cannot pay his portion of the rent or there are any other difficulties that wonโt allow him to pay half of the rent, I will of course help him.
Related read: How Renting Can Impact Your Credit
Money Conversation #4: How Will You Deal with Changes?
What if I lose my job? Or my partner canโt find a job after graduation? What if we need to move for work or someone can get a promotion abroad? All scenarios can happen. Itโs extremely difficult to think about what you want to do when youโre not yet in the situation. Itโs a good thing to discuss these matters a little in advance.
If you donโt know now how you will deal with these kinds of changes, think about how youโre both dealing with changes until now? When youโre both quite relaxed under changes, itโs unlikely that those changes will put stress on your relationship. If youโre both sensitive to changes, it might lead to stressful situations and it might be good to address those things at this moment.
Money Conversation #5: What Do You Value Spending Your Money On?
Before youโre moving in with your partner, itโs important to talk about what you value spending money on? It can significantly differ among people. One person loves to go on big holidays, the other likes to drive their dream car, wants to have a big space to live in, or likes to have the latest tech gadgets. Itโs good to know what they value.
Before youโre moving in together, itโs important to understand what they value and what is important to them. The habits they have around the things they value may have an impact on your joint life together.
My partner loves playing games and spends a great deal of time playing games both online and offline. He used to spend a good amount of money on getting new games, getting new consoles, or updating his computer. Currently, he doesnโt spend too much money on those types of things, but itโs still something to keep in mind when youโre going to live together.
I used to buy a lot of clothes, but since getting on my clothing ban I havenโt bought any clothes. On the contrary, Iโve sold a lot of stuff around the house when I decided decluttering was the way I wanted to go. I wonโt say Iโm exactly a minimalist, but Iโve gotten rid of certain habits and Iโm starting with a clean slate when Iโm moving in with my partner.
When weโve talked about this point, he also asked me to give away/throw out all of the stuff I donโt use anymore. That way, we can start fresh when weโre moving in together, instead of just moving all my stuff simply from one place to another.
Itโs good to know what are the things that you might want to spend more money on, that you want to treat yourself on. For me and my partner thatโs both the same thing: traveling. Itโs important to know when money gets saved towards that goal and how much money will go towards that specific goal.
Money Conversation #6: Where Do You Want to Go?
Itโs important to discuss where you want to go in life? I would like to know how temporary our living situation will be. Are you or your partner already planning for a different job, relocation, or promotion? Do you want to have a family? Do you want to live in your city apartment with one bedroom, or do you want a big house in the countryside with a huge garden and two dogs?
You can address many questions in order to address where you both want to go.
When we started dating, I told him I would go to the USA for five months shortly after. I am a dreamer, I love to think about what I want to do in my life and imagine where my life might be going. I already have some of my dreams about starting my own business, traveling, working abroad, and financial independence / early retirement. When I noticed our goals are compatible, even a few years down the line, that gives a huge boost to your relationship up until that point.
Relationships require a serious amount of honesty, openness, and communication. Youโre a team that will figure everything out that will be thrown at you, youโre in this together.
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